Agnes Szoke unbroken by forced marriage, communism

Mountain Home parishioner survived war, corruption in Hungary

Published: January 27, 2015

By Aprille Hanson
Associate Editor

Aprille Hanson

Agnes Szoke, 88, a member of St. Peter Church in Mountain Home, shows a 1972 photo of her family in Hungary.

Aprille Hanson

Agnes Szoke, 88, a member of St. Peter Church in Mountain Home, shows a 1972 photo of her family in Hungary.

MOUNTAIN HOME — Standing in the vestibule at St. Peter the Fisherman Church in Mountain Home, the barely 5-foot Agnes Szoke stands in a black dress, a wrinkled smile on her face, with warm, blue eyes. She’s explaining how her life has had many highs and lows, but that her focus has always been on God and how she just wants to share her story. The bells ring as the deacon emerges from the sanctuary, the Eucharist in hand and though 88, she tries to kneel down despite everyone’s objections. She must bow before her Lord and her knees touch the hard tile.

An American, though spending her formative years in her family’s native Hungary, Szoke endured a forced marriage at just 16, the pain of leaving her 18-month old child behind to sail to the United States and the heartbreak of war. But even in the darkest of times, God, she learned, was walking the rocky path with her.

AMERICA THE BEAUTIFUL

Hungarian natives George and Agnes Kovacs built a humble life for themselves in Akron, Ohio, both working at BF Goodrich full time. Son George was born in 1922 and daughter Agnes followed in 1926.

When Agnes Szoke was 4, the family traveled to Hungary in 1930 to visit family for an extended stay.

“We actually went with the intention of having my brother go to school there for a year to learn a little bit about ‘our roots’ as my father used to say and our ancestry … then we will come back,” she said. “My parents were very happy to be together with the family.”

But tensions were brewing for World War II and after a warning from a priest, her father rushed to the embassy in Budapest to get the family’s visas to go back to the United States, but it was too late.

“The embassy was already closed, and we had to stay there,” Szoke said. “The war was roaring, first the Germans came in, they were pushing out toward Russia. We were working hard, they sent us out to the hills, the youngsters and we were digging some fox holes for the soldiers in case they’d be pushed fighting backwards.”

The family built a life on a 100-acre farm. Brother George was drafted into the war in spite of being an American citizen.

“He received a pink card saying if he did not report within 24 hours he’d be put in front of the firing squad. So he had to go,” she said.

The end of the war on April 5, 1945, meant more than just peace, but that her brother George was coming home.

MARRIAGE

“Oh my God, that’s very painful, but I will tell you,” Szoke said of her childhood wedding.

The Szoke family had known her future in-laws, who had four children, for most of their lives. For two years, a man persistently asked for her hand and after her father said no twice because Szoke wanted to be a nun, the man’s family would not take no for an answer. The suitor’s father threatened Agnes’ parents at gunpoint until she agreed to marry his son.

“I kept begging and begging and crying and begging for hours, it didn’t work, nothing worked until finally I broke down and said, ‘I’ll marry your son. Just don’t kill my parents. I love my parents. I’d give up my life before I let you kill my parents.’ Then he finally put the gun down and he left,” Szoke said.

On Jan. 5, 1943, the two were married in a Catholic church and Szoke was miserable.

“We all cried, what is going to happen? We didn’t know because he was already a communist, the worst communist what turned out to be in the whole area,” Szoke said.

Four years later and after 58½ hours of labor, Szoke gave birth to a son, Julius.

“Things were going so bad I didn’t know what to do. I was so unhappy. I didn’t want to get married and get divorced. I thought, ‘I gave up my life dream, what I wanted to be, I can’t break this one too. I have to stay whether it’s good or bad, I have to stay and I have that child.’”

But God opened a door — a ship rather — back to America.

HOMEWARD BOUND

The American Embassy reopened in 1948 and after a year of jumping through hoops, Agnes was ready to return to her birth place. Szoke’s husband would not let Julius board the ship.

Szoke’s husband promised he’d follow her to the United States, but he never came.

“He didn’t want to come; he wanted me out of the way because I had the baby. On the baby’s name he could claim my father’s money,” Szoke said.

Szoke set foot in New York on May 29, 1949, and soon arrived in Akron, Ohio, the next day to stay with family friends.

She never forgot her son. Her parents still remained in contact with Julius and he became very close with her father until she received the grim news. Because her father and her family were outspoken against communism, they became a target. And, it was only more convenient since her estranged husband worked at the police department.

“They put (my father) in jail a million times. He turned around the wrong way, they put him in jail. They beat him to death … they threw him outside in practically his underwear,” Szoke said.

Her father was 63 years old when he died. Her estranged husband’s family soon took all but two acres of the family farm and her mother’s life was under constant threats.

For years, Szoke tried to obtain a visa to visit her family and reunite with her son, but she was denied for 23 years.

But in 1972, God again answered her prayers.

REUNION

Szoke and a friend were finally able to travel to Hungary.

“We walked a good ½ kilometer to get to my mother’s house at 4 a.m. We were in mud up to our knees,” she said, adding she soon laid eyes on her mother. “She was just crying and shaking and I was too.”

Julius, 25, was a sight to see.

“There was a young man standing there. I screamed and we both cried. When I left he was just an 18-month old boy and here I have a young man.”

GOD’S LOVE

Szoke retired to Arkansas in 2003. Living in Midway, she enjoys attending Mass at St. Peter in Mountain Home and the company of Dominican Sisters Agnes Koziel and Klaudia Klapacz, who recorded her life story. Her son died in February 2013 from colon cancer at just 66 years old. Szoke saw her son a handful of times throughout the years while visiting Hungary, but his father’s influence of communism took its toll on her son and their relationship. However, she said she fondly remembers speaking to him on the phone just a week before he died and made sure to have a Mass intention for him at St. Peter.

Szoke never remarried but rather enjoys living her life for God. Though the arranged marriage always weighed heavy on her mind, she often remembers the words a priest, who baptized her as a baby, said when she returned to Akron.

“He says, ‘You know that’s very honorable that you gave up your life dream and God will never forget that.’ He says, ‘He is going to be with you. You’ll be all right,’” Szoke said.