Speak of the unspeakable: help to prevent suicide

Talk of suicide, other signs point to mental health issue to address immediately

By Alesia Schaefer
Rogers Correspondent

First in a two-part series on suicide and the Church’s response

In a culture where everything is discussed, it is still considered a taboo topic only mentioned in hushed tones. But recent cases of suicide in northwest Arkansas are shining some attention on a topic that resides in the shadows.

In a little over a month, three parishes in the northwest Arkansas were touched by the unspeakable loss and sadness of suicide. The reach of the grief only widened as news rippled through the communities. In Springdale, two middle school girls, ages 12 and 14, committed suicide within days of one another in early February. Bullying was the alleged reason for at least one of the cases. In Fayetteville, a 19-year-old woman with strong family ties in the parish took her own life. The last week in February, an adult male, who gave of his talent to the parish he had attended as a youth in Rogers, ended his own life.

Individually, each case was tragic and shrouded families in grief. But collectively, the tremors of sadness could be felt in the parishes these individuals attended.

There will always be questions. Some will forever remain unanswered. But in the aftermath of such tragedy is the burning question of what can be done to address the issue going forward.

 

Coping together

Following the devastating news of the suicides of the two young girls, the second annual peace walk, held in Springdale Feb. 21, emphasized the desire of the community to end violence in all its forms. More than 1,000 people participated, including Springdale superintendent Jim Rollins.

After the walk, Rollins, who oversees a school system of 23,000 children, spoke to the crowd telling them, “We need to come together to give hope to everyone. They need all of us.”

His words resonate with many.

Dr. Sandra Pate, licensed clinical social worker and therapist who has been in practice for more than 20 years in Rogers, said symptoms of suicide are often difficult to identify. But Pate urges parents, teachers and counselors to look for sudden changes in a teen’s behavior.

“There are numerous reasons why a person may come to this conclusion and begin to turn on themselves. Some don’t have the family or friend structure or a support group and feel they are living in an invisible culture where no one would miss them,” Pate said.

“Stresses, addiction, a divorce in a family, bullying, sexual orientation or a major life occurrence, can trigger the depression that often then leads an individual to have suicidal thoughts,” Pate explained. “There are a lot of lonely people out there not thinking anyone cares. They might have the facility to be connected, but they may not feel they have anyone to be connected with.”

 

Beyond faith

Pastor Father John Connell and associate pastor Father Juan Guido of St. Raphael Church in Springdale realize resolving this issue is often beyond their reach. They ministered to the families immediately after they received the calls through prayer and counseling.

“What is most important to get across to parents is that this is a mental health issue with their children,” Father Connell said. “We have had several parents concerned about their children and we encourage them to get their children into counseling and even to a psychiatrist if necessary.”

Resources vary, added Father Connell, depending on the need of the individual, but some are referred to Ozark Guidance Center with seven locations around the region, their school counselors and their doctors. For severe cases, inpatient therapy is available.

“Our job as spiritual healers really comes second,” he said.

 

Knowing the signs

Bridgette Weisenbach, a licensed professional counselor who has worked with the Ozark Guidance Center for more than four years, reminds parents of another important fact to keep in mind.

“The brains of a teen are not fully developed yet,” Weisenbach said. “So they cannot look to the future or past a problem and sometimes things seem overwhelming to them.”

Weisenbach should know. She is on the front lines every day talking to teens at risk as she works primarily in one of the local high schools. There are certain behavioral changes that could alert parents that something may be wrong with their teen, she said.

“If a teen is not sleeping, or is unable to concentrate in school, has a change of appetite, is irritable, is cutting or inflicting pain on themselves, seems to have a sense of low self-worth or has experienced a major life event, such as a break-up or parent divorce, it could be an indicator that they need help,” Weisenbach said.

“For some of them when a big life event happens, that is when they consider suicide. Some already feel that no one cares about them and begin skipping class or letting their grades slip and that is when a counselor will refer a student to me,” she said.

Once a student is referred and speaks with a counselor, she said, a next step may be having them assessed by the hospital so they can get pharmaceutical intervention. In some cases, admitting the student to a residential facility if they need to be watched at all times is necessary.

Father Jason Tyler, pastor at St. Joseph Church in Fayetteville, believes helping young people establish and feel comfortable in personal interaction is another positive step. 

“Young people tend to perceive their problems as much bigger than they really are because they lack the experience to understand fully what is happening around them or to them. If they can feel comfortable talking to someone, those problems can be put into perspective a little better,” Father Tyler said.  

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