The Official Newspaper of the Diocese of Little Rock
Sometimes it seems like there are not enough hours in a day. Often, time spent together as a family comes second to the demands of work, school, housekeeping and extracurricular activities.
Yet, many families find a way to thwart the modern dynamic of everyone going in opposite directions. In these homes parents bring the family together by making shared faith experiences a top priority.
Praying together to stay together
Dr. Paul and Kathy Wendel, members of Christ the King Church in Little Rock, understand the demands of work and family life.
Paul is an associate professor of maternal-fetal medicine at the University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences. Kathy, a former nurse, stopped working outside the home after the birth of the couple's third child.
They have six children: Michael, 18, a freshman at the University of Arkansas at Fayetteville; Chris, 16, a junior at Catholic High School in Little Rock; Matt, 15, a Catholic High sophomore; Daniel, 12, a seventh-grader at Christ the King School; Mary Kate, 9, a Christ the King fourth-grader; and Annie, who turned 5 this month.
In addition to work and school, the Wendel children participate in many extracurricular activities. Even though their parents have limited them to music instruction, one sport and one other activity, like scouting, it all adds up.
"When you multiply that by six, it makes your life really busy," Kathy Wendel said. With all the activities, families and parents can be "pulled apart to divide and conquer," which makes family time together more important, she added.
She said she and her husband were determined to have time for prayer, particularly as a family.
By building the time into their routine, the family has made prayer part of their everyday life.
"When we get in the car in the morning, we start saying the rosary," she said. "Then there's instant peace in the car."
Wendel started this ritual when five of the oldest children were in the car. In their 10-to 12-minute drive to school, they could say three-and-a-half to four decades.
She also goes to the school's daily Mass and sits with her children to be present to God with them.
"Each grade has an assigned day for Mass at school," she said. "That's a beautiful gift, getting to be one-on-one or with two maybe."
At 3 p.m. every Friday during the school year, she and her children meet in the chapel in front of the Blessed Sacrament to pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet and the Divine Praises.
"We are scheduling to do it as a family," she said.
Because of her husband's hours, it can be difficult for him to participate during the school day.
"He can't always be there because of work commitments," she said.
So the Wendels designated Sunday night as family rosary night. On Sundays they say the prayer together after the evening meal or before doing another activity, such as watching a movie together.
And they do it "with a joyful attitude," she said.
Now that oldest son, Michael, is away at college, his father asks him regularly about attending Mass and making time for prayer.
"Paul is the spiritual head although he can't always be present," Wendel said.
The Wendels are also in the habit of praying before meals and try to come together for night-time prayers before the youngest goes to bed.
"I can't say we're always consistent (on the night prayers), but that's the goal," Kathy Wendel said. "At least the goal is set there. It's what we want to do."
She said Father John Corapi, an EWTN contributor and author, has been an inspiration to her, especially his family "SWAT team" idea and concept that the rosary is "one of the tactics in combating evil in the world."
"We talk about the effect of prayer. It's a central part of (the children's) lives. It's a joy. It's not put in a box," she said.
"God gives us a blueprint of how we act. Jesus is the example," she said. "There's peace in following that."
Living what you teach
Christy and David Koprovic, of St. Boniface Church in Fort Smith, always wanted to have a big family.
The couple had three children biologically: sixth-grader, Britteny, 11, and fourth-graders, Brigitte and Bethany, 9. All attend St. Boniface School.
The couple also endured 10 miscarriages.
Christy Koprovic, a St. Boniface kindergarten teacher, became interested in fostering children through a fellow teacher. That teacher was caring for a girl named Olivia. The Koprovics got to know the girl and eventually adopted her. Olivia is now 6 and in first grade.
The couple decided to become foster parents themselves in June 2007. Their family now includes two foster children: Koby, 2, and McKenzie, 4 months.
"They (foster children) just want to be loved, but so many don't get that," Christy Koprovic said.
Since the couple has become foster parents, Koprovic said she has seen a change in her older children.
"Since we started fostering, they are so grateful for the things we give them and the time they have with their foster brothers and sisters," she said. "I've seen growth in all three of them. They seem to have more love. They can find the good in people now and are less me-centered."
"We didn't realize how much the (foster) kids were going to help us," she said.
In addition to opening their home to more children, the Koprovics lead the Pre-Cana program for the western region of Arkansas. They got involved about eight years ago through giving talks. They have led the program for the past two years.
"We love that, because marriage is the key to the family," she said.
Her marriage suffered after the birth of their first child because she was so focused on the child, she said.
"Children learn relationships from their parents," she said. "Communication, being partners -- we want that for other couples, to start off on the right foot. ... With God's help you can become the family that God wants you to be."
For the Koprovics that includes family prayer several times a day.
"We pray together every morning before we leave, and we pray at the dinner table every night we can," she said.
The family tries to discuss problems or concerns in a "Christ-centered" way. Usually they conclude their days with Bible stories and prayer before bed.
"We relate everyday life problems to our faith, how God would want us to handle something," she said.
They also celebrate liturgical seasons at home by lighting the Advent wreath and holding a special ceremony every night during Lent.
It's not always easy to say the rosary with a 2-year-old and a 4-month-old, but Koprovic said they try.
Through her Bible study group, made up of mostly mothers, the family has incorporated the rosary into fun settings, like having a group swim party, which was followed by saying the prayer.
"We want our kids to know our faith is important to us and we have to live it every day in all aspects of our lives," she said. "The key is to make it a priority and you do it. The most important priority is God."
For this reason the couple has limited each child to one extracurricular activity, such as soccer or dance.
"With too many activities, there's no family time," she said.
"If your kids think the most important priority is soccer, you've got a problem," she said. "(Children) need their parents' feet firmly on the ground."
David Koprovic owns his own business, but his wife describes him as a "hands-on" father.
"He drops everything for his family," she said. "He was PTO president last year -- that's the kind of dad he is."
"He is truly the spiritual head of the household," she said. "He wasn't always, but now he makes sure we do the things to be a strong family."
At least five years ago, the couple felt their family "was not where we wanted it to be," she said, and they decided to attend a Catholic conference in Omaha, Neb.
"We were going through the routine. We didn't incorporate God into our lives," she said.
At that point the parents started limiting activities and changing the focus.
"I can't imagine it being that way anymore. It was an awakening to let God be in control of our life and family," she said.
Now even the older children take more active roles in church life. They have helped with the costumes for the children's Christmas Eve pageant, which their mother organizes. Oldest child Britteny is an altar server every Sunday, and she has helped at Pre-Cana registration, Koprovic said.
"She keeps me on track for reconciliation," she added.
Building servant hearts
For Bonnie and Brad Smithee, parishioners at St. Mary Church in Paragould, volunteering is a family affair.
"Brad and I have always volunteered for the church since we moved to Paragould nearly 19 years ago," Bonnie Smithee said. "Anything we did, the children went with us."
The family includes son, Seth, 13, an eighth-grader at Paragould Junior High School, and daughters, Hannah, 11, a sixth-grader, and Abby, 8, a third-grader. Both girls attend St. Mary School.
Bonnie Smithee volunteers as the church bookkeeper. Her husband cares for the cemetery. When he mows, the children go with him and help pick up trash and sticks. Now Seth even helps with the mowing.
"As soon as they started toddling around, they went," she said. "It's always been a part of their life."
The family has helped with many church projects, including tearing down old buildings, laying sod and pouring sidewalks.
"We spent countless days putting up playground equipment for school," she said.
But Smithee emphasized they were never alone.
"We have lots of good people around here," she said. "And we had fun doing them (the projects)."
The most important part of teaching service is starting early, she said.
"We started them out very young helping others and not getting paid, so it comes naturally to them, at least we hope so," she said.
Seth and his father volunteered at an appreciation fish fry given by the Children's Home in Greene County, an organization that provides "resident homes where children can stay so they can have a structured home life," she said. "They did whatever they needed them to do."
"I have to credit my husband -- he's always been this way," she said. "If someone needs help, he's the first one there."
The family does have other commitments. Brad Smithee is a resident engineer for the Arkansas Highway and Transportation Department. Seth takes piano and is a Boy Scout, and both girls are cloggers.
Yet they can always find time to help out, Bonnie Smithee explained.
"Sometimes you have to prioritize," she said. "That's just part of life."
The couple has always limited the children to one or two activities so they get to have a family life, she said.
"It's important to have one or two evenings free and have supper time together, particularly when the kids are little," she said. "At times it's difficult, but I have the ability to say no, and I pull my rank occasionally."
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