Social, spiritual benefits of eating dinner as a family

Family time at table down 30 percent in past three decades as

By Katie Zakrzewski
Associate Editor

Dining room tables will be crowded with familiar faces during Christmas, dining on recipes handed down through the generations. But once the holidays are over, it might be a while before some families eat dinner together again. 

The American College of Pediatricians estimated in a report from February 2021, “Family time at the dinner table and family conversation, in general” has declined by more than 30 percent in the past three decades. 

 

Busy families

Father Stephen Hart, pastor of Sacred Heart Church in Morrilton and St. Elizabeth Church in Oppelo, believes there are several reasons for the decrease in family dinners. One is an increase in activities that keep families busy.

“I constantly hear people mention how in their childhoods there were not so many activities going on,” Father Hart said. “So as families make more commitments to extracurricular activities, logistically speaking, the sheer amount of activities decreases the number of evenings where families can spend their leisure time together.”

Father Joseph de Orbegozo, rector of the Cathedral of St. Andrew in Little Rock, echoed Father Hart’s explanation. 

“Kids in middle school and high school are pressured to do more, and therefore eating together gets sacrificed at the altar of other good things,” Father de Orbegozo said. 

Another reason for the decrease in family dinners is the increase in technology.

“Many of the activities that are now very popular include interaction with technology, the use of personal mobile devices — things like smartphones, video games — and tend to be more solitary activities,” Father Hart said. “I think we are more socially acclimated now than in past generations to doing activities alone.”

Father Hart said one of the spiritual reasons for the decrease in family dinners is the pressure on families. 

“I think that, spiritually, as the family continues to suffer in terms of marital breakdowns, that can also have an effect,” Father Hart said. “If a family is dealing with a lot of marital tension, family dinners might be easier to avoid … Those communal events are not as instinctual or given as they used to be.”

 

Social creatures

Father Hart said eating together is often a repeated theme of peace and good will in the Bible.

“We’re social creatures, especially when it comes to eating,” Father Hart said. “The majority of human history shows that we do that together. What does the Lord himself do? He eats with those whom he’s ministering to … It’s a very biblical, very explicitly Christ-like thing to do.”

Father Hart said there are several social and spiritual benefits to eating dinner together as a family.

“Family members who spend more time with each other … have a better ability to share heart-to-heart what is going on in their lives — what are their joys, their struggles — and the Holy Spirit works through those kinds of leisurely conversations to bind us together in Christ,” Father Hart said. “One of the best things that families can do is set a very conscientious bar for a certain number of nights per week or a certain amount of leisure activity as a family with no technology involved.”

 

Setting a priority

Some families in the diocese said they are determined to keep the tradition of family dinner going long after the holiday ends. 

Becky and Joey Dold, members of St. Elizabeth Church in Oppelo, make family dinners a priority. The couple has four children, Emma, 19, Mason, 17, Joseph, 15 and Landon, 13. The Dolds also have extended family members come over on Sundays twice a month for dinner. 

“We eat dinner together on average four nights a week, but definitely on Wednesday and Sunday night,” Becky said. “Our children play sports and some weeks they play more nights than others, but generally speaking if we aren’t in a gym we eat together at the table. … We all get together with (Joey’s) family, and he has four sisters. There’s 22 of us all together. We used to get together every weekend after Sunday Mass, but now, because we have several kids that are in college and are not home every weekend, we try to get together at least twice a month after Sunday Mass to have dinner.”

The Dolds said it’s important to eat dinner together.

“We feel that that’s our time to decompress from the day and hear about how everyone’s day has been,” Becky said. “Since our kids were little and started school, every day we go around the table at dinner and ask about their day. What was the best part? Did anything happen? And that’s our opening to guide them or try to help them navigate and give them advice if there’s anything that we have that could help them. If they have a bad day, we help them with how to handle and deal with that. It teaches them that it’s OK to talk about and communicate their feelings.”

 

Talk around the table 

Another family that makes dinner together a priority is the Hill family. Andrea and Shannon Hill, parishioners of Our Lady of the Lake Church in Lake Village, have four children, Kaitlin, 26, Daniel, 23, Hannah, 17 and Erin, 15. Even though Hannah and Erin are the only two children still living at home, the Hills continue to eat dinner together.

“We make it a priority to eat dinner as a family every night,” Andrea said. “When all the kids are home, it’ll be all six of us at dinner, otherwise it’s always Shannon, myself and Hannah and Erin.”

For the Hills, communication around the table is key.

“We feel it is imperative to have our family meals together to ask our kids how their day went, to ask them if there’s anything they need help with and just staying informed and involved, especially with this generation who would rather be on social media than being social,” Andrea said. 

“As far as the spiritual benefits, of course, we always say prayer before meals as a family. This time is also used to have those conversations with our girls on what it means to live out their Catholic faith in their everyday interactions with others and how we should treat others and help those less fortunate. This is also a good time to discuss with our girls what’s going on in the world and try to address any of their concerns about different situations.”

Like the Dolds, the Hills minimize smartphones while they are together for the sake of improving communication with one another.

“One of our rules we have always stood by is no cell phones at the dinner table,” Andrea said. “By having dinner with our kids, we feel like it helps them understand the importance of being present and learning how to have a conversation face to face.”

---

Please read our Comments Policy before posting.

Article comments powered by Disqus