Steps in planning your Catholic wedding

Published: March 31, 2007

The following explains the marriage preparation guidelines in the Archdiocese of Oklahoma City, which includes the dioceses of Tulsa and Little Rock. Where indicated, specific information is given for the Diocese of Little Rock.

Marriage Preparation

Step 1: Initial interview

The first step in planning your wedding is to notify the parish priest as soon as possible and set up a first meeting with him.

This interview should take place no later than six months prior to your proposed marriage date. It should certainly take place before any social arrangements for the wedding are planned.

Step 2: Assessment process

The minister (parish priest or deacon) who will be assisting at your wedding has the responsibility of helping you assess your readiness for the sacrament of marriage. In addition to the information from the initial interview, he will use other assessment tools such as the Facilitating Open Couple Communication Understanding and Study (FOCCUS) questionnaire, as well as diocesan forms, consultation with relatives and pre-marriage counseling and evaluation as needed.

Step 3: Decision

For most couples, a mutual decision with the minister will allow you to proceed with the marriage. In cases where delay is indicated, the minister will work with the couple on any special procedures.

Step 4: Establishing a wedding date

Once you and the minister have decided to proceed with the marriage, you can establish an official wedding date.

Step 5: Instructional program

The priest will outline for you the marriage preparation program to be used to prepare for your marriage.

Step 6: Planning the wedding liturgy

Your wedding liturgy should be planned with the minister who will officiate at the wedding. He will discuss with you a wide choice of scriptural readings, appropriate rituals and suitable music.

Special Circumstances

Interdenominational and interfaith marriages
If one of you embraces a faith tradition that is not Roman Catholic, you will be expected to participate in additional instructional sessions.

Inactive Catholics
In the event that one or both of you are not active in the practice of your Catholic faith, you should expect to attend additional instructional sessions to help you become active again as a practicing Catholic.

Youthful marriages
The Church takes special care and concern in preparing couples requesting marriage when one or both parties have not celebrated their 21st birthday. Permission of the Catholic party's pastor is required for couples to marry when one of them is between the ages of 18 and 21. If one of the parties is below the age of 18, permission of the bishop is required.

Pregnancy
While premarital pregnancy is often viewed as necessitating marriage, evidence shows that instead, it should be considered a reason to proceed with great caution toward marriage. If a pregnancy exists, you can expect the Church to express care for you and your child; however, marriage should not be presumed automatically to be the appropriate solution to the situation.

Information provided by the diocesan Family Life Office.